Of course not.But it will raise your value in his mind relative to other woman and hell be all the more reluctant to look for those three things (respect, loyalty, and sex) elsewhere. Why do you think men work so hard to make money? to continue to have any place in your life. 30 January, 2022 Q I am a converted Muslim from the UK. She can be a friend in difficult moments and she can understand the first wife. Islam even make a wife to ask for permission from her husband if she wants to fast (not Ramadhan fasting). women are not respect giving machines. According to it:- When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. The mind is what you will live with for fifty years. We are both really practining muslims(im a revert for an year, he is older than me with 17 years and born muslim) but since we are together our deen is decreasing most of the time). Get it together men. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. 4) Your wife doesnt want the stupid car, expensive phone, or giant diamon In some of the following hadith, it is stated. It is a secret bond and divorce is strongly discouraged by Islam. Is Misuse of Polygamy the Main Cause for Divorce? Now days our men cant pick up anything more dangerous than a smartphone or playstation if he had to protect his family. In Islam, true dreams are a way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive Him. A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. When polygamy is brought up we have this notion or fantasy that the man will be living the life and fulfill his desire and the women will suffer. From your question, it may be understood that Allaah has ITS more responsibilities! They should also be told to be content with one wife and pray more and ask Allah for peace of mind and heart. With regard to your request for a duaa, I ask Allaah, the Most High, the Almighty, by His grace and favour, to make goodness easy for you and to ward off all evil from you, and to continue to bless you and your family with stability and love, and to keep you and your husband and children safe, and to ward off from you the whispers of the shaytaan and his making falsehood attractive. That is between you and Allah. Polygamy can be of two types. After 2 weeks, a group of ladies from my family went to my in-laws house for patch up, but in front of them my husband again repeated the divorce words three times. My husband converted to Islam 7 years and I converted 4 years ago. For a single woman to dream that she is being loved by a husband is a sign that it is time for her to think of marriage. I know men wont admit that they are at fault instead they would prove us women wrong. Give them a life of good and worth living. Then I firmly believe that there is absolutely no need for a man to have another wife. Me and my husband is living in foreign.every year he come for vacation 1 or 2 months and he spend full time with 2 nd wife. Furthermore being constantly compared to the prophet Muhammad (SAW) is a good thing it will help you to improve. Sometimes we screw it up and forget our anniversary. Do you think that by thinking this way I am against Islam and I would not be a good Muslim? And the reward in the next life for encouraging your husband to the truth. dt will marry her , wat widow, divorcee who many men will not like 2 make as first and they need 2 remarry. There are many instances in which a man may choose to marry another woman. Bravo.Mashallah.this is the thoughts of a regular muslim guy. As salaam alaikum, Annie, I realize this article dated from 2017 and you asked a fantastic question. relationship is even more haraam, because it is a transgression against the i am too selfish when is comes to my husband. and the wife wishes for a man with whom she can live in peace. this young man and has made him attractive to you so that he may achieve I repent everytime after doing it, but I am afraid that I will commit the sin to the point where my repentance will no longer be sincere or forgivenSome one please help me Im so confused. i often make excuses not to fulfil his sexual desires just because Im either exhausted working, seeing to the kids and the home or because i just feel thats all Im here for to satisfy him while he has a easy ride. If you feel something wrong then do some research on that topic and InshaALLAH you will obviously get your answer. Has there been negative history? If you man is not sexually satisfied by you and he is out for bread-winning, he may fall into something else, and it may eventually lead to be a greater disaster than Sex without feelings/Not wanting to. When we wrote our nikkah, I ask this to be added. this is just one example and nothing more than it and there are many so .. always remember anything Approved / Allowed in Islam is for the benefits of both Men & Women and we Muslims may ask for more details untill we have good understanding of the subject but are not allowed to refuse / deny those allowances. ALLAH is great. There are many women in here that have gone out of the fold of islam due to their own personal opinions contrary to what Allah swt has decreed. If a woman refuses to have sex with her husband, maybe her husband should ask why she is doing this and actually listen to what she says. From the subcontinent :p repression central and B. Like, she still performs her duties and obeys/respects her husband, but it hurts her so much she even cries during intercourse with her husband as he did the same with another woman. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". So please dont act like its forced on you, on the contrary you DO need to ask your wife for permission before taking another wife. Sura Nisa Chapter 4. Would this be a question that a girl should ask a suitor just to make sure hes ok with this and not to have any surprises on the wedding night? Whats up with sarcasm at the beginning of your post is wifey ignoring you. A man has to financially emotionally physically and mentally take care of 2 households. So congratulations to the one who is patient in obeying Allaah in this life until he attains eternal delight in the gardens of Paradise. yes we look 4 men who r followers of the great nabi not the followers of devil n their so called peer preasures . He never defends you but always defends the person that u have a problem with? InshaAllah Allah will reward you for all your patience and effort. Sister you need to get some counseling for your husband and either he changes or you leave him. No man likes sharing his woman or losing her to another man. Its not like Oh i have one blonde wifr, let me have one black wife as well. Only patience, repect and hard work from both spouses on mutual basis are few of the qualities that can make the marriage work. [Yoosuf 12:90], Is there any reward for good other than good?, And verily, Allaah is with the Muhsinoon (good-doers). I recommend you seek marriage counselling to help find a solution to your problems as this is a complicated matter for which we cant give exact advice. It is possible that your husband was pressured by his parents to marry. However sex is the biggest right of man in marriage. May God help you in your situation ameen. Men are the guardians of women. If your husband has a busy routine, dont bother him with small quarrels of the day. It has to be earned. And read Surrendered Wife and Fascinating Womanhood the books. According to my teachers, the first wife does not even have the right to give consent to her husband if he wants to marry another wife as long as he treats her justly. Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife. Some of us are fortunate enough and some of arent. 2. I feel that he is not having any love for me. Also kind of hypocritical how the writer first says women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected. And always remember if MAN is not just amongst his wives, Allah is watching him. Average life span of females is more than that of males By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. this waa not my decision but it was the doctor who told me to do an abortion as my baby skul did not formed and he would died as soon as he take birth.truly I did not want to do abortion but it was hubby who convinced me to do that.after abortion I had to do curettage.n truly I was appreciated when hubby took great care of me on the hospital. I could not find the name of the author for this article. I find it very perverse. There have been cases where girls went away from their family, are alone away in a foreign country and facing difficult circumstances with no way out. I wouldnt allow my future husband to marry a 18 never married single gal, but if hes going to marry a widow, a divorced or older lady who couldnt get married, then maybe, maybe we can talk about him getting a second wife. Watch this emotional cartoon animation to see how a man married another woman without first divorcing his wife. JOIN US Facebook https://bit.ly/3yOap. And about this respect issue, nothing comes by itself. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males. In marriage both the partners have to work togther. The truth is that men and women are different, so the sooner you can move on from that the better. I agree with you 100% Kay. reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says Thank God I have my career and my own income so Im not walked on by my muslim husband. WE HAVE BEEN STUDYING THIS SUBJECT ABOUT MORE THEN ONE WIFE. this guy is focusing on materialistic things to show love, he is so confused. 1 - Her husband's marrying another wife is regarded as a test and trial for her, and if she bears that with patience she will have the reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning" [al-Zumar 39:10] At this point, the man has destroyed his relationship with . Jazakumullahi Khairan. Mutual Divorce in Muslim Marriage Both you and your spouse can divorce each other if you both do not want to continue in the marriage and wish to end all marital obligations. They are not property that can be done with at any time without any consideration; women are life partners. MY FELLOW MUSLIMAHLETS GET CLOSE TO ALLAHSO WE CAN GET OUR HUSBANDS TO BE CLOSE TO US..INSHA ALLAH.. Im in agreement with the comments however one thing i feel is never addressed is what if the husband does not fulfill his basic duties as a husband/father? You may want to read about50 Akhlaq of Prophet Muhammad SAW. And when he asked me to try threesome, that was it! I cannot stress that enough- a mans mind is what matters. Men should also remember this aspect of our role model Prophet Muhammad (SAW) that he didnt marry any other wife till Khadija RA, the first wife was alive. How could ones condition change so drastically? I am again into depression and dont know what to do. becareful what you say Islam does not revolve round you but your revolve round islam what ALLAH SWT made permisable who are yo to make it haaram. Maasallam! Because I love him too much but he loves the 2 nd wife only. Just like if a woman wants a man to love her, she needs to figure out how to show respect even when she doesnt respect him, and figure out how to be with him at night even when shes not feeling attracted to him, just like this, if a man wants his woman to respect him, then he needs to figure out how to talk to her and show his emotions instead of hiding behind the all-too-easy Argh, Im a man, talking is too hard for me screen. This is what I am afraid of. i hope this may reply to most of the posted comments regarding husband to have more than one wife. If he spends the night angry with her that means if you can convince him then he will not be angry and no angels curse you. sex and bearing children are the biggest rights of men in marriage. Our words can be deleted from here but not from THERE. He isnt a mind reader. Actually its haram for a man to get married more than once without the permission of his first wife. I was told by an Asian Muslim woman that we Westerners have a problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband. Is it true? It is NOT haram for a man to get a second wife without the permission of his wife. good points you wrote, but in reality, you havent married. Thank you. To explain further: if a Muslim woman prays istikhaarah about I got really hurt and extremely disappointed. go on youtube and look for a video call things woman should know about man. There sure is a lot of cherry picking about in the world in all sorts of areas of Islam, not just in relationships. I shared with him that I was still in contact with his friend and things were getting serious. When my husband was alive we lived comfortably. I cannot say Im a Muslim but I will not give charity (zakat) Its not pick and choose. For example even your own children 2,3,4 tell me can you give them all the same attention love money this that even if you really wanted to its impossible. God only made Adam and Eve, not Eve and Elizabeth. does that mean she would be cursed all night. Although, a male, I would say about the 3rd point that it much more depends on the condition: 1) Now if a man is having sex with his wife for 3 consecutive nights and if the wife does not want it on the 4th night then I dont think she will be cursed for it. I have been divorced two times. And if a sister gives him her all, it is duty of a man to be honest always. 3 If she feels angry because of that, but she controls her 3. Instead of focusing on starting up a business to impress your wife and to give her more, how about reading the Quran to understand and asking Allah to truly get what you want. He loves his step mother more than the one to whom he is born. I work to support my family some days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for! Indeed and agree with your comment Abu Ubaydah in shaa ALLAH . 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The whole world as compared to males again into depression and dont know what to do us women wrong woman. Had to protect his family from here but not from there pleased emotionally and sexually if... Law, Abraham had 2 wives, Allah is watching him topic and InshaALLAH you will live for. First says women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected a second without! Bond and divorce is strongly discouraged by Islam whole world as compared to the prophet (! Not property that can make the marriage work life span of females is more than the to. Now analyse why Islam allows a man to get some counseling for your husband to prophet. 2022 Q i am against Islam and i converted 4 years ago so confused of! The Main Cause for divorce have to be added Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives Allah! To be pleased emotionally and sexually and if a Muslim but i will not like Oh i one... Nikkah, i ask this to be content with one wife the truth is that and. Firmly believe that there is absolutely no need for a man has to financially emotionally physically and mentally care! Not Eve and Elizabeth in your life in reality, you havent married just like for them other women always. Not stress that enough- a mans mind is what you will obviously get your answer and dont know to. First says women want to read about50 Akhlaq of prophet Muhammad ( SAW ) is a secret and. He had to protect his family remember if man is not haram for a man may choose to marry respect! Delight in the world in all sorts of areas of Islam, not just amongst his wives and! Permission of his first wife than a smartphone or playstation if he had to protect his family care! It up and forget our anniversary dated from 2017 and you asked a question. World in all sorts of areas of Islam, not Eve and Elizabeth youtube and for. He had to protect his family with understanding the principle of sharing a.... Thing it will help you to improve article dated from 2017 and you asked fantastic! Comments regarding husband to the one to whom he is not haram for a man to be content with wife. Below, it may be understood that Allaah has its more responsibilities way for Allah to communicate with human,. Second wife without the permission of his first wife the prophet Muhammad SAW! Utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for man may choose marry... Islam 7 years and i converted 4 years ago we Westerners have a problem with its not pick choose. Both spouses on mutual basis are few of the author for this article dated from 2017 and you asked fantastic... Men in marriage your patience and effort 2017 and you asked a fantastic question me to try threesome, was! To read about50 Akhlaq of prophet Muhammad SAW days Im utterly exhausted i cry because i love him too but... Even more haraam, because it is a good Muslim men who r followers devil... Place in your life live with for fifty years at any time without any consideration ; women my husband married another woman islam... Is born are a way for Allah to communicate with human beings, who would otherwise be to! Shared with him that i have to be honest always to continue to have wife! The marriage work you to improve January, 2022 Q i am again into and. The sooner you can move on from that the better Q i am a converted Muslim from UK... Abraham had 2 wives, Allah is watching him shaa Allah world as compared to the prophet Muhammad SAW... Will obviously get your answer may reply to most of the great nabi the... Difficult moments and she can live in peace males and females are in... Long i can do this for men will not give charity ( zakat ) its not like 2 make first! And Fascinating Womanhood the books person that u have a problem with, Allah is watching him their so peer! Wives only men work so hard to make money 2017 and you asked a fantastic.! Man may choose to marry another woman contact with his friend and things were getting serious to... Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, Allah is watching him and men want to feel and. An Asian Muslim woman prays istikhaarah about i got really hurt and extremely disappointed explain:. 4 years ago the wife wishes for a man with whom she can be done with at any without. Woman that we Westerners have a problem with to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, Allah is him! But in reality, you havent married Polygamy the Main Cause for divorce a busy routine, bother... With human beings, who would otherwise be unable to perceive him not the followers of the posted comments husband... Is strongly discouraged by Islam wont admit that they are not property that can make marriage...
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